I did for years and years… I followed the Eastern way , the Native way, the Peruvian way, the every other way but MY ancestral way. There were deep parts of me that avoided my own cultural ancestry, I would shadow band my ‘past life’ story around and other excuses and signs of inner denial. I would share every other lineages rituals and ceremonies because they awakened something in me , not once did I feel that they may be reflecting within me some piece connected to my own ancestry , my own lineage , my own roots. I didn’t hear the DEEP CALL OF MY ANCESTORS shouting OVER HERE ! I can say this now, but I wouldn’t say it then that I was in denial of my own ancestry , I didn’t want to go there and I now know why… because it was shrouded in pain , it has hurt connected to it, it held my ancestors struggles and suffering. I see them walking with their deep connection to spirit and earth, to the mystical , to God with chains around their ankles and the weight of their ways on their necks and shoulders. I could easy get distracted by the lineage of the areas I lived in, the places I visited because it held no trauma for me, not real internal pain, (only if I put myself in their story which as an empathic person I could easily do.)
Doing Jungian work has grounded me in my own roots, doing deep excavation into where my parents are from, their parents and the people before them has lead me to the true roots from where I came and my peoples magic. There is a lot of pain stored in my cells, there is a lot of places where I am opening to face the fact that the magic was trampled on , lost , stolen , hushed, raped and pillaged from them and I see them gagged and bound and told not to show their beliefs, not to practice their magic, not to partake in their rituals. I also see the places where they colonised, took from other, raped and pillaged and bound others for their ancestry and beliefs. I see this shadow and light in us all. In our unconscious all this lives, and we can deny it , pretend it isn’t there, tell stories of the Sophia, or the Knight Templars that we completely resonate with (for some reason or another) and hide in ‘past life’ stories for as long as we will…but we never get rid of the hidden ancestry inside of us, the story that is carried around in our DNA in the our very genes. IT is there written into our very bones , waiting for it to be made conscious, hiding in the shadows.
Ask yourself have you really enquired into the lineage of both of your parents? Have you tried to prize out what your peoples ways were, how they lived? What they did to others? Do you hide in stories of past lives and others ancestry as a way to bypass the pain that you don’t want to face and even more so the power that is there to claim? You may read this and as I did , feel that sick feeling right in my stomach and avoid it and just not want to go there. There are avenues that I have explored and ones I don’t want to … a bite at a time I go in .. and I pull more and more forward and its usually in the shadow. As I pull on this thread I feel there could be light at the end , but I got to go through the dark first.. I don’t just get the ancestral magic like that … This is a deep web that I have been exploring that has come up alongside the work I have been doing , this web is mapping out into a body of work and I will cover all of this in the next course I plan to teach . “The Resurrection of the Black Madonna”
I wanted to share this with you .. to open a question into your own unconscious mind. Have you really explored the inner workings of your ancestry? Do you want to ? Do you avoid the power that lies within that exploration?
I will leave that to echo in your ancestral chambers…
