Dismantling the Patriachy within.

The current times are screaming at us to see that whatever appears outside of ourselves is within , this goes for the shadow and the light. We are often spending vasts amount of energy on how others can change, how our governements and structures could be better , without recognising that the collective is the collective unconscious and what we see as needing repair needs repair within. Can we be kinder and more nurturing towards trying to bring our shadows into consciousness? can we realise that doing this work takes not exile but a container of love. We are all too attunded to running away from the container of love because we are so out of our comfort zone there , the pain and wounds, the patriachal conditioning deems its unsafe, though the part of us that is hurt and abandoned seeks the love and hold of the feminine , the very thing society is petrified of. The patriachy lives within, its a place that needs dismantling within ourselves first in order for it to make any significant change outside of ourself.

We are all imprinted with it, the very roots of and stems of us is blighted with it , so much so our true soul essence is unable to bloom in the fragrance of much needed femininity.

Patriarchal conditioning has instilled certain masculine traits in both men and women that, while sometimes beneficial, can also undermine authenticity, self-awareness, and empathy when left unchecked or unconscious. Here are some common patriarchal masculine behaviors that may be unconsciously expressed by both men and women:

1. Dominance and Control

• Seeking to control situations, people, or outcomes.

• Avoiding collaboration in favor of taking charge alone.

• Struggling with delegating or sharing power.

2. Suppression of Emotions

• Prioritizing logic over emotions, often devaluing emotional intelligence.

• Viewing emotional expression as a weakness or vulnerability.

• Avoiding vulnerable conversations or labeling emotions as “irrational.”

3. Hyper-Competitiveness

• Prioritizing “winning” or “being right” in conversations and relationships.

• Feeling threatened by others’ success or accomplishments.

• Constantly comparing oneself to others rather than collaborating.

4. Aggression and Confrontational Approach

• Resorting to aggression, verbal dominance, or intimidation when under stress.

• Speaking over others or taking a confrontational tone to assert authority.

• Viewing gentleness or compromise as a weakness.

5. Perfectionism and Overachievement

• Measuring self-worth through achievements and productivity.

• Feeling inadequate or guilty when not working or “doing” enough.

• Seeking validation externally by appearing “better” or “stronger” than others.

6. Lack of Nurturing or Receptivity

• Avoiding nurturing, whether toward oneself or others, as “soft” or unimportant.

• Disregarding the importance of intuition, empathy, and compassion in decision-making.

• Treating nurturing as a burden or overly feminine responsibility.

7. Isolation and Self-Sufficiency

• Believing one must solve problems alone, without asking for help.

• Viewing self-sufficiency as the only acceptable mode of operation.

• Withdrawing emotionally to avoid appearing dependent or “weak.”

8. Rigid Gender Roles and Judgments

• Upholding stereotypes that devalue feminine qualities in both men and women.

• Dismissing or judging those who defy traditional gender norms.

• Viewing emotional, artistic, or empathetic traits as lesser than rational or logical traits.

9. Over-Reliance on Logic and Pragmatism

• Rejecting spiritual, intuitive, or abstract concepts as illogical or unnecessary.

• Prioritizing measurable outcomes over experiences, creativity, or the process itself.

• Ignoring emotional undercurrents in relationships, focusing only on practical aspects.

10. Devaluing Community and Connection

• Prioritizing independence over community or cooperative efforts.

• Viewing connection and community support as less important than personal gain.

• Not seeking or valuing mutual support, sometimes even in intimate relationships.

11. Linear and Goal-Oriented Thinking

• Focusing solely on the end goal, dismissing the value of the journey or process.

• Overlooking intuitive or non-linear approaches to problem-solving.

• Viewing cyclical or holistic approaches to growth as inefficient or unproductive.

12. Dismissal of Intuition and Sensitivity

• Labeling intuition as irrelevant or untrustworthy.

• Viewing sensitivity or empathic responses as unproductive.

• Suppressing any internal guidance that doesn’t align with “rational” or “logical” thought.

13. Hierarchical Thinking and Superiority Complex

• Seeing oneself or one’s role as superior or more important than others.

• Creating power imbalances and feeling threatened when these are questioned.

• Seeking admiration or validation by placing oneself “above” others.

These behaviors are often reinforced by societal expectations and media, making them hard to recognize or change. Awareness and reflection can help foster a more balanced approach that integrates both masculine and feminine qualities, fostering authentic and compassionate connections with self and others. There is often the underlying force of the will to power which superceeds our real want of love , and where ever there is power love is devoid. The opposites give us opportunity to come into the middle and find the very thing that will free us in society from all that holds us back. Can we make time to see in ourselves the very things we are opposed to outside or our own self? Maybe then real change will happen.

LOVE

COLLETTE xxx